I’ll never forget how I felt when I heard my manager say
“It’s clear you don’t like your job here.”
My heart exploded into one hundred pieces. That statement couldn’t have been further from the truth about what I was experiencing.
My daughter was almost a year old, and the post-partum depression and anxiety was becoming unbearable. I was working in a non-profit that I’d spent a good amount of time previously volunteering at. Even though I was working 50 hour weeks, I had been drowning trying to keep up with an impossible work load.
I experienced a great deal of grief after losing that position. I didn’t realize it was grief at the time, but it was a huge loss for what I thought I ‘should’ be doing with my life.
I was lucky a few months later to land a really great marketing gig, but it was impossible to make that work once the pandemic hit.
I spent last summer angry, disappointed, and discouraged. What am I supposed to be doing with my life??
I decided to stop thinking about ‘work’. Took some time to heal and sit with the grief of my sinking career. I had no idea what was going to come next – career wise. I didn’t care. Rather than research jobs, work on my resume, and all of that stuff, I took a step back. I had no clue what I was going to do next. But I did know a few things:
I wanted to work for someone that would act as a mentor and appreciate my diverse skillset.
I wanted to have good work/life balance and be able to spend more time with my family.
I wanted to do something inspiring, something that would add value to the world. I was tired of selling products and services I wasn’t passionate about.
I started practicing creative visualization during my meditations. I changed my ‘status’ on linkedin to “Manifesting my destiny”, lol.
I imagined myself surrounded by passionate coworkers, brainstorming and working together.
I imagined my boss being appreciative of me, and pushing me to succeed.
I imagined cashing my GIANT paycheck for work that I loved doing.
I imagined laying in bed at night feeling proud of the work I was producing.
The details were fuzzy. They didn’t matter. I had enough ideas about what I wanted to visualize a picture of my dream job…. whatever that ended up being.
I started spending more quality time with my family, truly living in the moment and not constantly ruminating about ‘what I was doing with my life’.
I started reconnecting with friends I hadn’t seen in awhile.
I started noticing my energy growing. It felt like there was more space to just BE myself.
A few months later, I got an email from one of my favorite podcasters, looking for an apprentice.
Even though I had promised myself I wouldn’t apply for any jobs until at least January, I found my fingers flying across the keyboard explaining why I was a good fit for the position. Before I realized it, I was applying for the position.
I had an incredible first conversation with the woman and before I knew it, she was offering me an apprenticeship, and access to her amazing online course all about finding your soul purpose.
As she told me the values of her small business, my heart swelled with joy. They couldn’t have been more aligned with my values. Could this be my new ‘work’ home?
It’s only been a few weeks, but things couldn’t be better working for her. Work that I actually enjoy, that is actually helping people. Pinch me!
When I let go of the ‘grasping’ for a ‘successful career’, I was met with HARD resistance. When I let that go, opportunity flowed effortlessly.
Through this experience, I’ve learned to value myself. I realized that the career heartache prepared me for something even greater. I was putting so much emphasis on my career equaling me as a person. Guess what – it has nothing to do with that! I am a good friend, wife, and mom. I’m so much more than my career or job, and
you are too!