Welcome to the space inside my head 🙂
Oh where oh where did my confidence go?
Oh where oh where did my confidence go? When it started to leave, I had just given birth to Mila. I kicked ASS during her birth – 36 hours of drug-free delivery it took to bring her into this world. But then I began having trouble breast-feeding, was exhausted, and discouraged. She had reflux and…
Manifesting My Destiny
I’ll never forget how I felt when I heard my manager say “It’s clear you don’t like your job here.” My heart exploded into one hundred pieces. That statement couldn’t have been further from the truth about what I was experiencing. My daughter was almost a year old, and the post-partum depression and anxiety was…
Reflecting on Recovery
Well, today is my last day at Skyland Trail. It’s hard to believe I’ve been in the program for nearly three months. When I first checked in to the residential program, I was scared, confused, and had been in a rough manic episode for the past few months leading up to February. When I arrived,…
Getting Back on the Wheel
I still remember the first assignment. It was my first semester in Ceramics in college, and I was super excited to get muddy. After watching a demo on the wheel for the first class (he made it look so easy!) , we were instructed to create 10, 6-inch cylinders; which we would then cut in…
‘We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in’ My body is a vessel. It has changed a lot over the past 35 years, but it has always been mine. When I was young, I was ‘thin and spindly’ as my mother said. Shy and withdrawn, my vessel felt awkward. My legs were too…
I hate cell phones. But I love these apps 🙂
Hate is a strong word, I shouldn’t say I HATE my cellphone. I just hate how addictive they are, and how they are contributing to a lot of mental health issues these days. But that is a topic for a different post 🙂 On the other hand, there are a bunch of advantages to phones…
Awe Journaling on the Pacific Northwest
I’m in a group called ‘Inspired by Nature’ here at Skyland Trail. I’m currently in the outpatient program, so everything is done by zoom. I was a little skeptical on how a ‘nature’ class group would go on a screen, but was pleasantly surprised by our activity this week – ‘awe journaling’. We were tasked…
Another Break in the Wall
It’s hard to say when my ‘episode’ first started, but it seems like my mental state really started to deteriorate around the summer time, after the Grady incident. I started having incredibly difficult panic attacks, and I was also in a deep depressive state.
Emotional Regulation and Momming.
It was a beautiful morning. I’ve been feeling pretty good-ish lately. Eating/diet has been an issue, but I’m trying to make up for it with massive amounts of Arden’s Garden’s PH juice and Golda ‘booch. Marcus has been taking Mila for walks in the morning before breakfast, and it gives me a chance to move…
Fun in Grady Psych Ward.
Welp, it’s been over 8 years, but I managed to make it back to the psych ward Friday night, this time at Grady Hospital. Luckily this time I made it out in less than 24 hours, ONLY because of the fact that I have been WORKING MY ASS off to get better resources to manage…
So, last month was focused on the theme ‘nourishment’. It was broken down into four categories – Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. Throughout the month, the journaling and exploratory process brought about the following summary of what’s been happening in my life for the past 34 years. One of the questions was, ‘which category do…
Where I’m at today.
Ohhhh man, okay this has been a work in progress for quite some time, but I’ve realized it will always be that, and it’s okay. This is not for a client, or business, or prospect, or someone I am trying to impress. IT IS FOR ME! It is so I can express myself in an…
Distracted, Looking for Jobs.
I have been ‘working’ at PCM, feeling pretty good. It’s been a little more than a week and a half since I started the new meds, and honestly it is like
Attempting to Get Out of the House is Never Easy.
I have a love-hate relationship with writing. Lately I’ve felt nearly a CONSTANT impulse to write – to purge negative emotions, to process life’s craziness, and to reflect on what’s truly happening in the world and in my life. When I’m actually writing, I genuinely love it. I love the process of getting something down…
What Has Worked for Me During Panic Attacks.
There was a time when I would suffer multiple panic attacks a day. I would spend most of my time just trying to deal with overwhelming emotions swirling in my head. At first, I didn’t really understand what the panic attacks were – I just felt really out of control. The medication I initially took…
Feeling That Funk.
Most days, I wake up with a million things to do that I am excited about. Being home with Mila has been great for the most part. I’m working on this blog, I’m doing some Salesforce Trailhead tutorials, growing my
The Struggle is Teal
The last 6 years have been, to say the least, CHALLENGING for me, and with all of the recent events surrounding our country and world, it’s easy to get sucked into depression. I try and stay positive, but it can be difficult. I feel like most people I’m close with don’t really understand what I’m…
Hi, I’m Jeni. In 2012 I experienced a mental health episode that launched a quest into understanding my mind, body, and soul. It’s been a wild ride, and I have found that journaling, meditating, and participating in spiritual rituals has helped me process my trauma, heal my wounds, and finally begin to shine my authentic light.
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